JOYFUL TIMES EZINE

Resources and Inspiration for Discovering Inner Joy

Issue #3 - 2003

 

Purpose Statement:

The purpose of the Joyful Times Ezine is to uplift the spirit through inspiration and information. To this end we will emphasize the positive and focus on the good that is taking place in this world.

 

Philosophy statement:

We can create joyful times in our personal world by directing our thoughts and feelings. Seeing or feeling the perfection we want in our lives and in the lives of others has been called the highest form of prayer. This can lift us into the "high joy vibration" and through the "law of attraction" joyful times will result. Our motto is "joy is an inside job."

Pegi Joy Jenkins Ph.D. - Founder of Joyful You - Joyful Child, Inc

 

Letter from the Editor:

     Welcome to the third issue of "Joyful Times Ezine"!  We are an extension of the Joyful You - Joyful Child website at http://www.joy4u.org   It is a not-for-profit organization founded in 1990 by Pegi Joy Jenkins, Ph.D. This issue seemed to take on its own agenda to send out messages about FLOW.

     I experienced that theme personally during the layout phase. I was reminded twice in the past 24 hours of the ebb and flow of life.  My vision of the uncertain future and decisions about the natural process of dying were often mentally and physically blocked by tears.  Yet, my heart was reopened to the 5-step grief process flow, the 'come to know' and the spirit-to-spirit energy that losing a loved one (or two) can evoke.  I had a light bulb moment of the extreme value of the short lives of my two betta fish "Bing Cherry" and "Aqua Velva", when they died within 17 hours of each other.

     Anyone close to me can tell you I am deeply heart-connected (also known as Empathetic Central) to any breathing thing - young or old.  I have always loved animals and treated my pets as close companions or family members.  And I realize my pet friends tend to bring out the nurturing and compassionate woman in me, as well as my silly 'inner child' side.  This was true with my fish.  The "boys" (as I referred to them,) were Siamese fighting fish - only inches long and each with that 'little man/bigger than life' personality syndrome - who became my buddies at work.  They afforded me escape and dream time, and were 'betta' than a chill pill at curing my stress headaches.

     The sunset after they both passed on to the greater pond in the great beyond - with its hues of buttermilk yellows, soft pinks, deep reds, multiple blues, and kingly purples floating on the night sky - looked like a bigger than life, colorful, full-flowing finnage of my two friends combined.  That sunset was my sign of their peace. 

     For more on what they taught me about the joy of living - see their 'BETTA' LIVING LESSONS under the Universal Principles section of this issue.

     We hope to stir your joy juices with this issue. We welcome your comments and suggestions. Thank You!

Finding 'joy in the journey,'

Joy Smiley

 

Table of Contents:

  1. Universal Principles
  2. Big Picture Parenting
  3. Joyful Relationships
  4. Activating My Inner Joy
  5. Global Good News
  6. Book and other Media Recommendations
  7. Joy Inspiring Products, Services & Classes
  8. Quotes to Ponder
  9. Contact Information

 

Universal Principles

Universal Principle of FLOW

What we put out we will receive back in turn.  FLOW is an energy force that can take on a life of its own.  The words from our mouths, the intentions of our hearts, and the spirit of our actions FLOW from who we are - into all we come in contact with.

Is your FLOW an out of control river that has overtaken the boundaries of others or flooded their foundation? Is your FLOW a dam that has blocked the free flow of energy for you, or others?  Is your FLOW a torrent, destroying nature along the way?  Is your FLOW being fed by toxic rain?  Is your FLOW full of someone else's bottled up water?

Or...

Does your FLOW redistribute unconditional love?  Does your FLOW radiate hopeful possibilities?  Does your FLOW circulate gentle peace?  Does your FLOW disperse negotiable alternatives? 

 

FLOW    a poem by Noel McInnis

Be,

as water is,

without friction.

 

Flow around the edges

of those upon your path.

Surround within your ever-moving depths

those who come to rest there - enfold them,

while never for a moment holding on.

 

Accept whatever distance

others are moved within your flow.

Be with them gently,

as far as they allow your strength to take them,

and fill with your own being

the remaining space when they are left behind.

 

When dropping down life's rapids,

froth and bubble into fragments if you must,

knowing that the one of you now many

will just as many times be one again.

 

And when you've gone as far as you can go,

quietly await your next beginning.

 

To read more poetry and writings by this poet, please link to:  http://www.choosingforgiveness.org

or email Noel at:  noelmcinnis@choosingforgiveness.org

 

 

'BETTA' LIVING LESSONS : How to Flow Through Life with Joy

or Everything I Need To Know My Betta Fish Taught Me   by Joy Smiley  ©,2003

Aqua Velva and Bing Cherry were bettas sent to me with a mission of joy. Their small size and unique blend of beautiful bright colors spreading from their tummies to the ends of their flow fins... inspired me and their unique personalities taught me: 

    • Your individuality and uniqueness make you who you are.
    • There is majesty in just being...
    • Let your play/your dance of life, look like colorful brush strokes of movement on a canvas. You were placed on earth, even if only for a moment, to paint a picture no one else can paint.
    • If you can't fly, then swim.  Do what you were born to do.
    • Create your own personal style of projection.
    • Remember to stop every once in a while to just come up to the surface and breathe.
    • Blow bubbles.  Get in touch with your own joyful passions.
    • Create a soft 'bubble nest' of hopes in anticipation of planting the essence of your dreams and watching them grow.
    • Know that your dreams and their birthing are a fragile process.  Both need to be nurtured to survive.  You the dreamer also need nurturing.
    • Be ready to catch any fallen dreams and carry them back to the nest of hopes for a second chance.
    • Radiate positive energy.  It can change the course of a room.
    • Expect and adapt to change.  Your reaction determines the outcome.
    • Explore all the possibilities in the space of where you are.
    • Look outside the bowl.  It's a great big world out there.  There is no lid on your bowl for a reason. A bowl has windows on all sides.
    • Communicate with all your senses and gifts (physical, visual, mental, emotional, verbal & spiritual) so that one of them can reach the one who matters most. (Sometimes that 'one' will be trying to stay afloat beside you - and sometimes that 'one' will be you.)
    • Your empowerment comes from within.
    • Present yourself with confidence.
    • There is a time for displaying the bigger self.  You will instinctively know when the situation requires it.
    • Go with the flow of each new day, but fight for what you believe in.
    • Decide on clear-cut boundaries that you dutifully protect against all intrusions - even your own!.
    • Expect battles.
    • Have a fight plan.  Be prepared to fight for what you believe in and/or fight for what is yours.
    • Fight the good fight (where everyone wins.) Then rest.
    • There is a time and a season for everything.
  • In their own 'betta' way - Aqua Velva and Bing Cherry were my teachers as well as my friends.  I hope you are blessed by what they taught me and are inspired to apply some of their teachings to your day.  Live each day in joy.  Enjoy the flow.

 

 

Big Picture Parenting

REDIRECTING ANGRY FLOW   by Joy Smiley

In trying to help a friend deal with anger that was not flowing in a healthy way... I was reminded of my mother's method when I was a child on the farm.  She would give me a hammer and say, "You go outside with that anger and you hammer that sidewalk until you make sparks and all your anger is gone!"  (I used to think if I would pound even harder and faster, I might make a hole through to the other side of the world, or start a fire!)  Well, needless to say, I usually made sparks (except in the winter,) but I never made a fire... and I never broke through the concrete before defusing my anger.  It did help to do something physical that didn't hurt anyone (me included.) And sometime afterwards I would be able to talk about it either to myself or another person in a much calmer state.

 

I recently came across a great web-site at www.members.aol.com/AngriesOut  with healthy alternatives for dealing with the anger of children, other adults and even our own.  It is based on a book by Lynne Namka.  She has many great ideas on her website for ALL ages about identifying your anger and dealing with it in a healthy and healing fashion.  I would suggest you scroll down to review articles in other sections of the website, such as: FOR GROWNUPS,  FOR KIDS AND GROWNUPS TOO,  FOR PARENTS,  FOR COUPLES.  And make a special effort to read the ANGER HELPER WORDS.  May you find encouragement and reason to incorporate one of the methods below (or on the website) to help your children and grandchildren constructively 'get the mads out'.  It could make a joyful difference in your home!

 

 

Rules For Getting Your MADS Out **  by Lynne Namka

  • Check your tummy, jaws and your fists.  See if the mads are coming.
  • Breathe!  Blow your mad out.
  • Get your control.  Feel good about getting your control.
  • Stop and think; make a good choice.
  • People are not to be hurt with your hands, feet or voice.  You can't hurt people just because you are mad.
  • Remember to use your firm words, not your fists.
  • Use a strong voice and talk your mads out.  Say "I feel mad when you ________."
  • Sometimes you need to take a time out to get your control back.
  • Take yourself off to a safe place and talk to yourself.
  • Pat yourself on the back for getting your mad out nicely.

 

 

Things To Do Later If The MADS Are Still There** by Lynne Namka

  • Remember, mads don't have to stay inside you.  Talk to someone who can help you sort out the feelings that made you feel bad.
  • Draw lots of pictures about what makes you angry.  Make big, colorful angry drawings.   Make mad noises when you draw.  BIG, MAD NOISES!
  • Put your pictures in the freezer to cool off those mads.  Or let your refrigerator hold pictures of your mads.
  • Pound on clay or on pillows.  Scream and yell and pull those mads out of your stomach.  Let those mads run down your fists and into the pillow.
  • Go out in the back yard and dig a hole. (Or just pretend to dig in your living room.) Pull all those mads up and out of you and put them down in the hole.  Then cover them up with dirt and jump up and down, stomping on the mads.
  • Put your mads in soap bubbles and blow them away. Watch those feelings float up to the sun and poof!  Act out the story of your mads with dolls, stuffed animals or plastic dinosaurs.
  • Get permission to tear up an old magazine.  Rip each page out, one by one as you make "big mad noises."  Then throw those mad feelings away by putting all the pages in the trash.
  • Get permission to put your anger in a raw egg.  Write the name of the person you are mad at on an egg.  Go to a wide open space and pull up all your mads to put in the egg.  Throw your mads as far as you can and yell and scream... "Aaaaaagh!"

**This information is from the book, The Mad Family Gets Their Mads Out ($9.95 + $3 s&h from Talk, Trust and Feel Therapeutics * 1120 Buchanan Avenue * Charleston, IL 61920 * 217-345-2982.) Text and illustrations ©, 1995, Lynne Namka.   Please visit her website for a plethora of ideas at www.members.aol.com/AngriesOut

 

 

Joyful Relationships

Create An Open Heart Support Team    by Suzanne Falter-Barnes

     First find a little quiet time out of reach of pager, phones, kids, etc... (I personally love going to the nearest not-too-noisy coffee bar, where I can sit at a table in the corner with a cup of tea.)  Then pull out your journal and get busy.

 

I. Make the following lists:

    • If I Could Do Anything In The World, I Would...
    • Things I've Most Wanted To Do But Am Most Afraid Of
    • Feelings And Other Truths I Never, Ever Want Anyone To Know

 

II. Now draw a line down the center of a new page:

    • On the left write:  People I Hide Myself From. 
    • Leave a little space below each name for additional writing. 
    • On the right side write: People I Actively Share Myself With. 
    • Complete both lists.
    • Now go back over these lists and below each name, write down why you hide or share yourself with that person.

III. Next, turn to a clean page of paper, and letting your pen flow, create a list of exactly what you really need to fulfill your mission or dream(s) in life. 

  • Think qualitatively... do you need
    • quiet morning time?
    • more courage?
    • more training?
    • someone to bounce ideas off of?
    • a really comfortable chair in your home office?
    • more sunlight or some plants?
    • constructive criticism?
    • deep encouragement?
    • a tireless supporter who believes in you more than you do?
  •  What is it that your soul is asking for now?
  •  Let your pen move across the page as you assemble this important list of qualities.

IV. Put that list in front of you, and study it for a moment.  Some items are things you can create for yourself - like a comfy chair, or quiet morning time. 

  • Tick off those that you can get busy putting in place now. 
  • Then circle those that need the help of another person to accomplish, like getting constructive criticism or deep encouragement.

V. Now put that list, and the People I Actively Share Myself With list in front of you.  Looking back and forth between the two lists, assemble a group of people who can give you what you really need.  This is your Open Heart Support Group.  How could each of the people or organizations in this group support you?  What do you need from them, specifically?  Really try to pinpoint it.

VI. Finally (and this is the most important part)

  • ...get in touch with the people or organizations on that list.
  • Screw up your courage and approach these folks directly. 
  • Share this exercise (and essay) with them, if need be, and see if they'd like to open their heart as well. 
  • You can be their supporter in turn.

This article reprinted with permission from Suzanne Falter-Barnes' free ezine, The Joy Letter (©, 2003, Suzanne Falter-Barnes.) To subscribe, go to http://howmuchjoy.com/joyletter.html

 

 

Activating My Inner Joy

How I Activate My Inner Joy  by Pegi Joy Jenkins, Ph.D. - Founder of Joyful You - Joyful Child, Inc

      "What will activate my inner joy today?"  This is the question I was asking myself this morning.  I mentally ran through my list of Sweet Sixteen Joy Activators.  (You can find the list on my website at www.joy4u.org)

     Nothing grabbed me as a focus for the day and it was a day I really wanted to manage my vibrations. (As we think and feel, we vibrate; as we vibrate we attract.)

     However, the question invited the answer and the Law of Attraction went to work.  Thirty minutes later, I found myself listening to a CD (Lesson 14 from the Initiation Program,) which I had recently purchased from Higher Awareness.  Wow!  My Joy Juices bubbled up and I had the truly joyful "thought for the day" that I wanted...

     It was one of those really big Universal Principles:  "All thought creates."  However, it went deeper and broader than I heard it before... beyond the "consciousness creates reality" that I was used to repeating.  It was based on quantum physics research.  What I grabbed hold of is that there is nothing there and we're making it all up.  The physical universe does not exist except when observed by mind.  It is the act of seeing or observing something that makes it become real.  Our world is a figment of our collective imagination.  And individually, it's a figment of our individual imagination.  As the Delfin Knowledge System states, "material conditions must change in order to be in harmony with their creator, which is thought."

     That was enough to make me start flowing thought to what I wanted, not to what I didn't want.  I knew I wanted to get out of my box and play with juicy images and bodacious ideas.  So I picked up my SARK books (all seven of them) because she (as an author) triggers my imagination.  She's an advocate for drenching our self in self-kindness, stamping out conformity, making Yes your favorite word, being ridiculous, and living a succulent wild life.  Today she will be my Joy vitamin as I remember "All thought creates."

 

 

How I Activate My Inner Joy  by Linda B. (a woman thrilled to be alive and awake in the world and blessed to be a wife, mother, Inner-Life Coach, and Joyful Child Trainer.)

     I love the out of doors and I love meditation so I have some favorite places in nature that I go to be reconnected with nature and in turn with my inner joy.  The two seem synonymous to me.   

     One place I love to go is called the Naturerealm.  It is property owned by one of the rubber magnates in Akron, Ohio where I live.  All year-round it is a place of beauty.  <